


Pulse Point

by hnnng



Category: Dream SMP (Fandom), Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Compliant Until Ch 2, Childhood Friends to Enemies, Dream Smp, Emotional Manipulation, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Niki Tubbo Punz & Skeppy have small roles, No Beta We Die Like Tommy Whenever He Duels Someone, Now With More George!, Okay maybe a little comfort as a treat, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Sapnap Rebellion Arc ya feel?, This Fic Is Sapnap Apologist Approved, Three Lives Concept, all i know is pain, sapnap-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:00:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27868834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hnnng/pseuds/hnnng
Summary: “I would fight a million wars for you, Dream. But it's become clear that you wouldn’t do the same for me.”----Aka Sapnap's friendship with his best friend is falling apart, the Fic. [DREAM SMP]
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap & Quackity (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Karl Jacobs & Sapnap, TommyInnit & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 75
Kudos: 629





	1. Gonna Be Here 'Till I'm Nothing

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer since this is RPF:  
> I am in no way talking about *real* people, just the characters they play. This is 100% fictional and I am not insinuating that this is how their friendship actually is or anything. If anyone involved expresses discomfort with being in fanfiction then I will take this down, yada yada.  
> \---  
> \---  
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy <3

_ The forest is alight with ambience and beauty. The sounds of wind gently rustling through summer leaves and the ripples of water from a nearby stream fill the air. Sunshine peeks through dense foliage and casts patterns on the mossy forest floor.  _

_ “Ha, gotcha, Dream!” shouts a young, high-pitched voice belonging to a boy of no more than ten years old. _

_ Sapnap stares down at his best friend with a smug grin on his face, pointing his make-shift sword—a stick—down at the older boy beneath him. Dream has his back against the forest floor, looking up at Sapnap. _

_ “Do you now, Sapnap?” Dream questions, cunningly. _

_ Sapnap realizes what is about to happen just a few seconds too late. He lets out an “Omph!” as Dream sweeps his legs out from underneath him, causing him to fall backward onto the soft grass. _

_ Their positions are now reversed, with Sapnap looking up at the twig being pointed downwards at him. Dream leans forward and pokes him in the neck with it. _

_ “And you’re now dead,” Dream teases. _

_ “Oh come on, Dream!” Sapnap exclaims  _ _ indignantly _ _ , “I almost had you!”  _

_ “Sucks to suck,” the older boy says, offering a hand to his younger friend. The dark-haired boy accepts the hand and allows Dream to pull him up off the ground. “But really, good fight, Pandas.” _

_ Dream dusts his blue jacket off, blowing his long fringe out of his eyes, allowing him to see the twinkle of delight in the emerald irises.  _

_ As they walk out of the foliage, towards the small bustling village they call home, Sapnap turns to Dream. _

_ “Hey, Dream?” he asks, waiting for the blonde boy to turn his head in acknowledgement. “We’ll always have each other’s back, right? Like, no matter what.” _

_ “Of course,” Dream says firmly, eyes determined. “No matter what, we’ll always fight by each other’s side.” _

_  
_ _ “Do you promise?” _

_ “I promise.” _

* * *

  
  


Those are the words that always ring through Sapnap’s head. He hasn’t forgotten them. Instead, the words become a part of him, a promise to keep not only for himself, but for his best friend also.

It’s this promise that has Sapnap turning away from Tommy and Tubbo, after they had all frantically scrambled through the mines, whispers turning into booming echoes as they searched for a place to hide the disc from Dream.

“You promised, Sapnap,” Dream had said during their confrontation afterward. He had held out his hand towards his best friend, mask hiding his expression. 

Sapnap took it, because he knows he would want Dream to do the same for him.

A few weeks later, when Sapnap lights the forests of L’Manberg ablaze, all he can feel is the warmth on his skin, the taste of ash on his tongue, and the warmth in his chest as he listens to the cheers of his best friend encouraging him.

* * *

It happens again. Sapnap stands on the rickety patio of Tommy’s holiday home, with Tommy himself and Tubbo beside him. They desperately scan their eyes along the railway, waiting for Dream to appear on the horizon.

“Over there!” Tommy shouts, panicking. “Shit! He’s coming from the wrong way. Shit, shit, shit.”

  
In only a few minutes, Sapnap is feeling the sweat on his skin as metal clashes against metal, standing face to face with Dream.

“C’mon, Sapnap,” Dream grunts, breath heavy from effort. “Why Tommy and Tubbo? I thought you were supposed to be on my side.”

Sapnap parries another swing of the older boy’s sword as he dives backward, staying silent.

Dream continues. “I thought you promised.”

And that’s all it really takes for Sapnap to release his netherite sword from his white-knuckled grip, hearing it thump as it hits the floor. And it ends like that, with Dream pulling him along to go stock up on weapons.

He hears the echoing calls of “Sapnap?” from Tommy and Tubbo.

He ignores them.

* * *

Things don’t really change until one cool fall afternoon. He wasn’t afraid of Tommy _ — _ not  _ really _ , anyways. Sure, he hadn’t meant to kill the kid’s beloved cow, but Tommy had just left him at the Eiffel Tower. And, well, it  _ was _ an accident, right?

So, when he pushes the wool covers off his bed and awakes to a message from Tommy, he doesn’t feel scared. Sapnap isn’t worried about dealing with him. He takes his time pulling his netherite items off his armor stand, frowning at the lack of golden apples and pearls after using most of them when he was sparring Punz the night before.

He makes his way to the Eiffel Tower, taking his time to drink in the sight of the autumn leaves and the feeling of crisp air. 

Sapnap arrives to flames engulfing the wooden platforms of the tower. Underneath the blaze, there is Tommy, Niki, Skeppy, Bad, and Dream. Sapnap’s heart is put at ease when he sees the familiar green hoodie of his best friend.

_ At least I’m not in this alone, _ he thinks.

The billowing clouds of smoke and ash sting his eyes, but he makes his way over to the five of them regardless. He can hear Bad yelling, tone desperate and frustrated.

Sapnap catches him saying “ _ —Dream, you seriously cannot be doing this right now!”  _

_ Why are Bad and Dream fighting? _

“There you are!” Tommy exclaims once Sapnap enters his line of sight. He walks up to the dark-haired boy, pointing a finger accusingly at his chest. “I know what you did to Henry! How dare you—”

The blonde is cut off by Dream putting a hand on his shoulder. Sapnap notices that Tommy’s eyes are red and his cheeks are puffy, and he feels slightly guilty. Only slightly.

“Hey, Sapnap,” Dream says coolly. 

“Hey, Dream,” he responds with caution. “So, wanna tell me what happened to the tower?”

Dream turns on his heels, exaggerating his stance as he silently points a finger at Bad, whose white eyes go wide in a mix of shock and fury.

“ _ Sapnap _ , he’s lying!” Bad cries out. “You know I wouldn’t do that. It was Tommy and Dream!”

Sapnap turns to look at him. Bad has never been a good liar. He’s always been a sincere person, almost as if it was against his very being to do something genuinely rude. Skeppy stands next to his best friend, almost looking torn between the two conflicting sides but he nods his head to Bad’s statement.

His stomach sinks.

“I know Bad wouldn’t… do that,” he says, gesturing towards the ruined tower. “Why are you lying to me, Dream? I get it, I killed the stupid cow. You can tell me the truth.”

Dream’s dirty blonde hair flutters in the gentle breeze, seemingly ready to respond when Tommy shakes the older boy’s hand off his shoulder, making a beeline straight for Sapnap.

And so it begins, as all wars seem to nowadays. Sapnap fights alongside Bad and Skeppy. Allowing the sound of metal clashing and the heat of the nearby flames to merge with his senses, making themselves welcome inside his head.

“Look out!” Skeppy shouts towards him at the same time as Bad yells “Sapnap!”

Sapnap turns, holding his weapon up just in time to keep the sharp end of a netherite sword from connecting with his back.

Just then, the person who tried to attack him registers in his mind. Sapnap’s jaw drops, dark eyes widening with shock.

“...Dream?” Sapnap questions nervously. “You’re attacking the wrong person, here.”

The blonde says nothing, quickly darting back towards Sapnap, blade in hand. The younger quickly gathers his resolve, pulling his own sword up, ready to parry the next strike. It’s a twisted version of the games they played as kids. 

Sharpened swords instead of wooden twigs, all-out warfare instead of playful sparring, and now lies instead of childhood promises.

_ “No matter what, we’ll always fight by each other’s side.” _

_ So, what are you doing right now? _

_ “I promise.” _

_ You promised. _

  
  


* * *

Later on in the battle, Tommy holds out a silver bucket, the sun catching on the rippling water. Sapnap only stares at him, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

Inside the bucket, he sees a small splash of water as a bright orange fish breaks the surface briefly before sinking back down.

_ Mars. _

As he meets Tommy’s eyes, the younger boy smirks, before placing the bucket into his enderchest.

“So, Sapnap, what do you wanna do now?” Tommy questions.

Sapnap opens his mouth, searching for words to pick out of his racing mind. “That’s not Mars.”

“It  _ is _ , actually.”

“There’s only one person who could’ve given you Mars, and I know he would  _ never  _ give her to you,” Sapnap says defensively. He knows Niki is probably getting away as he speaks, but the feeling of dread in his stomach is too overwhelming to care.

“Think again,” Tommy says, shrugging.

It’s like all he’s ever known is flipped upside-down.

_ The nights where one of them would have a nightmare, so the other would sleep next to them in bed. The time where Sapnap had scraped his knee and bleed all over Dream’s hoodie as the older boy gave him a piggyback ride home. When they attempted to bake a birthday cake for Bad, which turned out horrid but Bad still ate the whole thing anyway. George scolding them for attempting to steal bread from a stall in a market but deciding to join them because they’re his best friends.  _

_ Dream giving Mars to his best friend’s enemy. _

* * *

Sapnap and Dream didn’t talk much after that.  _ But that’s fine _ , Sapnap thinks.  _ It’s fine.  _

That’s what he continues to tell himself as he stands above the rippling waves of the ocean, baggy sleeves keeping the chilly wind at bay. The smell of salt in the air is so prominent that Sapnap can taste it on his tongue.

He tips the bucket over, watching as Mars slips out, flopping a bit midair before she gracefully lands in the water and flutters away in the waves.

“Goodbye, Mars,” he says quietly, feeling Tommy’s gaze fixed on his back.

Sapnap wades back to the shore, dropping the bucket into the white sand as he sits on a nearby rock.

Letting Mars go felt like letting a piece of himself go. Sure, she was just a fish, but she reminded him of the times where it was just him and Dream and George. 

Dream and George who left him to fight his battles alone.  _ Dream _ , who revealed his secret hideout to Tommy. His  _ best friend  _ who was supposed to always fight alongside him.

Sapnap curls his nails into his palms, leaving small crescent shapes in the skin as he grinds his teeth. 

_ Dream  _ who let them kill Skechers.  _ Dream  _ who gave Mars to Tommy.  _ Dream  _ who let George blow up his house.  _ Dream  _ who wouldn’t help his best friend out against someone who isn’t even his own  _ ally _ .

He’s broken out of his train of thought as Tommy walks over, standing next to him. The only noise being the muted sound of waves rolling across the shore. 

_ It’s kinda nice, _ Sapnap thinks.  _ And kinda quiet. And lonely. And maybe a little bit sad, too. _

“Hey, Tommy?” he asks, tone empty. He waits for the boy to turn his head toward him before continuing. “Do you think that after tomorrow, we can still be friends?”

Tommy stays silent for a few breaths before answering. 

“Yeah, I do.”

* * *

Sapnap fights on Manberg’s side. He doesn’t really care who wins or loses, but he chooses Dream’s side. Because he…  _ trusts? _ ... No, because he’s friends with Dream. 

He’s a weapon, and he’ll let himself be used. Sapnap craves the same approval of Dream cheering him on as Sapnap came running back towards him, forest ablaze behind him.

Dream also makes George king. Sapnap doesn’t particularly care.

_ It’s fine, _ he tells himself as Dream wages a war for George. 

Later that night, after Dream surrounds L’Manberg with obsidian walls, Sapnap dreams;

_ “If there’s one thing that’s clear to me, it’s that I would fight a million wars for you, Dream. Apparently, you wouldn’t do the same for me.” _

When he awakens, the only thing he can remember from the dream—nightmare, really—is the sound of his own voice, echoing through his head.

Sapnap pretends his friendship is worth more than a music disc.

* * *

“Tommy, yesterday when Dream was getting real mad at you, he said he didn’t care about anything. But I’m sure he cares about me, right?”

“...”

“Surely he does, right?”

“I mean, he cares about George if that makes you feel better.”

“No, no, no, he cares about me as well, right? We’re best friends, y’know? You can give it to me straight, Tommy.”

…

“... He doesn’t care about you.”

_ Oh. _

  
  



	2. Blood From a Stone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh, come on now, George. You know that’s not true,” Dream says, exasperatedly. “You shouldn’t listen to Sapnap, he’s just trying to split us apart.”
> 
> Sapnap flinches. “Me? Split us apart?” he snaps, trying to keep his voice from trembling. “You’re the one trying to divide us up, not me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I continued it, because you guys seemed like you wanted more. Chapter title is from "Beekeeper" by Keaton Henson, a song that kinda reminds me of Dream's current arc. Fun fact, "blood from a stone," is an idiom describing something you can never obtain, despite the amount of force you use. Do with that what you will.
> 
> Also, this is no longer canon-compliant due to the last few parts of this chapter.
> 
> Please note that the rating went up. This chapter has themes of manipulation and graphic violence (during the last section, it isn't too too bad but if mentions of blood and whatnot are something you can't handle, please don't read this.

_ Sapnap stares down at the various trinkets strewn across his quilt. He’s already packed all of his essentials and most of his prized possessions, but he figures he should pick out some other items he has laying around his room. _

  


_ “Sapnap! Let’s go, it’s almost time to leave!” George calls out from the living room of their house. _

  


_ His gaze lingers on the items for a few more seconds, before randomly picking out an old book, a small photo album made by Bad, and a stuffed panda that’s so old that the limbs have worn thin from the loss of stuffing, and one of the button eyes has fallen off. _

  


_ “Coming!” he responds. Sapnap pulls his pack onto his shoulder before leaving his room for the last time. _

  


_ He feels excited, but also anxious. They’re about to leave everything they’ve ever known. Sapnap drinks in the sight of his home for one last time, trying to commit it to memory. All three of them had lived there for the past few years. It’s a simple cabin, a teensy bit cramped but still cozy enough for three people. They have a rug in the living room, the kind that’s all bumpy and hurts to sit on. _

  


_ About a month ago, Dream had talked to George, Bad, and him about leaving. Starting their own town, far away from the village they called home. They had agreed and decided to leave in the early months of Spring, when the air was becoming warm but not to where it turned into blistering heat. _

  


_ And now it’s time. Sapnap is startled out of his thoughts by the sound of the door creaking open. Dream walks in, shrugging his own pack off his shoulder and onto the floor. _

  


_ “Welcome back,” George greets, Sapnap murmuring a greeting as well. “Is Bad on his way?” _

  


_ “Yeah, he’s gonna be here soon,” Dream confirms, nodding. “How are you two feeling about today?” _

  


_ “Excited,” Sapnap says, a smile creeping onto his face. _

  


_ “Worried about how far we’re going to be on the road,” George groans, tilting his sunglasses up as he rubs his eye with his fist. “But I guess I’m excited also.” _

  


_ Dream has his mask tilted off his face, allowing them to see his eyes shine. He opens his mouth to speak, most likely to tease George, but before he can say anything, the door swings open again. _

  


_ “Sorry I’m late,” Bad pants, seemingly having hurried over. “I was saying goodbye to Skeppy.” _

  


_ “Is he not coming with? He’s totally welcome to,” Dream asks. _

  


_ “He said he has stuff to take care of here, still,” the oldest of the group explains. “But he might come and join us later… So, are you three packed?” _

  


_ They all nod their heads, lifting their luggage onto their backs. Dream leads the three of them out to the stables, nodding at them to indicate that they should saddle up their own horses. _

  


_ As Sapnap gets to work, he spares a glance over at the dirty blonde. Dream is petting Spirit’s long nose, as they whinny happily at the affection from their owner.  _

  


_ “Such a good horse,” Dream coos at them, brushing their white mane. “I’ll make sure to spoil you rotten when we figure out where we want to settle down.” _

  


_ Sapnap grins at his best friend. That day, the four of them walk away from the life that’s become familiar, ready to start anew. _

  


* * *

  


_ After a week on the road, Sapnap finds himself being shaken awake. He groans, protesting by pulling his white bandana over his eyes and swatting away the hands on his arm. _

  


_ “Stoppit,” he slurs sleepily when his methods fail to stop whoever is interrupting his rest. _

  


_ “Oh come on now, stop being such a baby, Sapnap!” _

  


Dream.  _ Sapnap groans again, rolling over to face away from his best friend. All of a sudden, Dream is grabbing him by the ankle and dragging him out of his sleeping rolls, through the green stems of grass, and towards the firepit where Bad is cooking breakfast. _

  


_ “Dream! Stop it!” Sapnap shrieks, attempting to sound angry, but his body betrays him when a few giggles slip out. “You’re gonna get me all covered in dirt, asshole.” _

  


_ The green-clad boy shrugs, voice ringing out with his wheezing laughter as he pulls Sapnap up, only to start ruffling the younger’s hair, much to the dismay of the other. “At least I got you up. Now you  _ have  _ to come see this place George and I found!” _

  


_ About an hour later, after Sapnap has gotten dressed properly and eaten his breakfast, Dream leads him and Bad to their destination. George is already there, seemingly waiting for them. _

  


_ “Sapnap, Bad! Come look,” George calls, smiling. The two of them make their way over to where he is, gazes following the direction that the brunet is pointing towards. _

  


_ The forest is huge, with tall hills covered in foliage. The trees around them are dense and block out the dawn-colored sky from above, but they’re able to see through a break in the flora. The hills shallow out, dipping down to form a beautiful lake, filled with crystal water. The sun catches the rippling waves, casting a gleam into Sapnap’s eyes. _

  


_ Dream drops his arms around Sapnap and George’s shoulders. He grins from ear to ear, eyes gleaming with joy.  _

  


_ “Now this,” he says, emerald eyes sweeping across the scenery, before turning to meet the gazes of his best friends. “This is gonna be a home worth fighting for.” _

  


* * *

  


_ So, when did it all change?  _ Sapnap thinks bitterly, crossbow trained at Dream, who doesn’t seem intimidated in the slightest. He has his back pressed to George’s, puffing his chest up defensively.

  


Dream is trailed by Eret, Puffy, and Punz, who practically coo at the sight of an upset George, acting as if he’s a child that’s crying but doesn’t understand why. As if they can just hand him a lollipop and everything will magically be better.

  


Bad stands a bit farther away from the two of them, looking unwilling to step in, but the worry on his face is evident. He keeps casting fretful looks in George’s direction, as if he wants to go comfort his friend. Quackity, on the other hand, moves closer to Sapnap and George. His face shows an expression consisting of shock mixed with anger.

  


“C’mon, George. Stop being such a  _ baby _ ,” Dream reasons, sounding amused. “Things will be better this way! Being king made you a target! Can’t you see? I’m trying to protect you.”

  


Sapnap is just about to blurt out how  _ George isn’t being a baby, and can’t Dream see what he’s doing? How he’s hurting them?  _ But before he gets the chance, he’s interrupted by a different, softer voice.

  


“Just say you hate me,” George rasps. He’s looking up for the first time since Dream had officially taken away his crown. His eyes are hidden behind the dark glasses, but the tear tracks on his cheeks are visible.

  


Sapnap is sure that Dream is rolling his eyes beneath the mask. He presses himself closer to George, as if by doing so, the world won’t be able to split them up. Because he can’t lose George, who is all he’s got.

  


“Oh, come  _ on _ now, George. You know that’s not true,” Dream says, exasperatedly. “You shouldn’t listen to Sapnap, he’s just trying to split us apart.”

  


Sapnap flinches. “ _ Me _ ? Split us apart?” he snaps, trying to keep his voice from trembling. “You’re the one trying to divide us up, not me.”

  


He wants so badly to blurt out all the things Dream has done. He wants to bring up Sketchers, or Mars, his home or his tower, but it’s as if there’s a lump in his throat, holding him back.

  


At the sight of George nodding to Sapnap’s statement, Dream’s fists clutch together tightly. It’s the only real anger he’s shown the whole night. Before he can retaliate, Quackity steps in front of George and Sapnap, blocking Dream from their line of sight.

  


“C’mon,” Quackity says, voice firm. “You guys don’t have to put up with his shit. Let’s go.”

  


And so, Quackity leads them back to the giant mountain that is Mexican L’Manberg.

  
The three of them discuss their position, and assure George he can still be king. They’ll get stronger, the three of them.

  


_ And maybe then, we won’t need Dream anymore,  _ Sapnap thinks bitterly. That doesn’t make the realization hurt any less.

  


At some point during their chat, Bad reappears, attempting to negotiate an alliance. It results in a long, drawn-out debate, and Sapnap just wants to go to sleep because he is  _ so tired _ , and this isn’t going anywhere, and it’s  _ agonizing _ .

  


Suddenly, a voice rings out, interrupting their discussion, “So this is where you three went.”

  


Sapnap feels his heart drop, and casting a glance over to see George’s face go pale confirms that he isn’t alone.

  


“You two are overreacting. George, you may not be king anymore, but you can still have a position, so stop trying to get pity points,” Dream says darkly. “And Sapnap, don’t you remember? What about our promise?”

  


The latter stiffens, shuffling closer to George, as if trying to draw out strength from just standing alongside his friend. The former king— _ his  _ king—doesn’t look any better than Sapnap feels, however.

  


“Let’s go home, you two,” Dream continues, the folds of his green hoodie fluttering in the breeze. He slowly extends a hand out to them.

  


_ Maybe… maybe we  _ are  _ overreacting _ , Sapnap worries. He can’t find the willpower to argue back, though he tries desperately to swallow down the lump in his throat.

  


“What the hell, dude,” Quackity says, stepping up to stand in front of George and Sapnap. “Do you even understand what’s happening?”

  


“Oh, I understand  _ perfectly _ ,” the masked man says coolly. “George is acting all  _ sad _ because I took away his throne. He wasn’t even a good king, he just got attacked all of the time! Sapnap just  _ thinks  _ I don’t care about him, that’s fine. I’m trying to create  _ peace _ , they just need to understand that!”

  


“ _ Fine? _ You’re fucking over your best friends!” Quackity refutes, voice increasing in volume. “And don’t give me that  _ ‘I’m just trying to create peace!!’  _ excuse! You insert yourself into every. Single. Problem.”

  


The two of them continue on, arguing back and forth. Dream’s tone stays nonchalant, as if George and Sapnap are just going through some kind of phase. On the other hand, Quackity, despite all the frustration in his voice, is on an equal playing-field to Dream. Every time Dream shoots one of his points down, Quackity always has another to load up.

  


Sapnap can tell from Dream’s tone that the older boy is growing tired of this. And then, as if it happens in a mere flash, Dream slices his sword across Quackity’s shoulder, sending the un-armored boy tumbling backward.

  


Everything dissolves into absolute chaos. Sapnap chases after Dream (and Punz, who had also decided to come along) while yelling at George to run. Bad checks over Quackity while the former king flees. Dream chases after him, but is blocked off by the youngest member of their shattered trio. 

  


After realizing he won’t be able to catch up to George at this rate, Dream stops his pursuit. He shrugs nonchalantly before turning back towards Quackity.

  


“Trust me, Quackity. You don’t want to try and stand up against me,” he threatens. “You’re gonna regret it.”

  


And then Dream is pearling away, disappearing before his eyes. Sapnap clutches one of the strength potions on his belt, ready to chase after the dirty-blonde, when Quackity calls him back.

  


* * *

  


That night, after they had tended to his injuries, they said their farewells to Quackity, who went back to sleep in his house in L’Manberg. 

  


“G’night, George,” Sapnap murmurs as they head to their separate make-shift rooms. There wasn’t really anything built yet in Mexican L’Manberg, so Bad had kindly built the two of them a hastily-made home.

  


George turns to look at him. The older man’s eyes are red-rimmed, and exhaustion and grief is evident in his face. Sapnap isn’t sure if he looks any better. 

  


“Goodnight, Sapnap,” George responds softly, closing the door to his room.

  


After Sapnap closes his own door, he finds himself sliding down it, onto the rough floor. The events of the night crash start settling in as he brings a hand up to rub a darkly-colored eye, only for his hand to come back wet.

  


He tries not to think about the way Dream had just shot down his feelings, desperately attempting to suppress the way he quivers with each heavy, shuttered breath.

  


_ “You shouldn’t listen to Sapnap, he’s just trying to split us apart.” _

  


_ What if he’s right? What if I’m just ruining everything? _

  


Ten minutes later, he quietly opens the wooden door of George’s room, tip-toeing across the creaky floor. Evidently, his efforts don’t really make any difference, because George doesn’t seem to be sleeping any better than he is.

  


Upon noticing Sapnap standing in his room, George scoots backward across the sheets in the bed, making room for his friend.

  


That’s how they fall asleep; curled together, chest to chest, and holding each other like the world is going to tear them apart.

  


* * *

  


The next day, Sapnap watches as Tubbo exiles Tommy. He watches as Dream leads the boy away in a boat, off to someplace far away from any nearby settlement.

  


He feels bad for Tommy, really, but he can’t involve himself. Not yet, anyway. Sapnap thinks that maybe this is for the better. Maybe they just needed time apart. He remembers the tension from the other day when Tommy and Tubbo tried talking to each other. Tubbo sounded bitter, and tired. 

  


Sapnap can relate to that. He’s felt bitter and tired for a long time now.

  


Tired of what, exactly, Sapnap can’t say. Tired of being a pawn and a weapon, maybe, or tired of being betrayed. Tired of wars and tired of missing the boy he had known for years. That same boy who has seemingly disappeared.

  


Later, Quackity extends an offer to Sapnap to join him and a few others in a hunt for Techno.

  


“I’ll consider it,” he replies. “But between you and me, I’ve got my sights set on something much bigger.”

  


Sapnap clutches the potion of strength in his hand, staring at the large castle in the distance.

  


He’s already sent out a letter and put aside a date and time. He’ll be ready. Not for Techno, though.

  


* * *

  


Four nights later, Sapnap slides on the grayish-purple netherite armor, grabs his enchanted sword and his strength potion, and sneaks through the kitchen of their home, towards the door.

  


“Sapnap?” A voice calls out, softly. “It’s late, are you going out?”

  


He startles at the sound of his name, turning to see George at the countertop. The older man’s back is facing him, and he seems to have come out of his room for a glass of water.

  


George doesn’t really leave his room much anymore. Sapnap had cooked meals for them and always made sure to give George a plate, but he wasn’t very good at cooking. They still spend time together, talking softly in the darkness of George’s room, or sleeping next to each other.

  


The younger boy doesn’t really know how to help George, but the brunet insists he’s helping anyway. 

  


“I just need some fresh air,” Sapnap quickly bluffs, hoping George won’t turn around and see his armor. The last thing he wants is to worry George.

  


George shuffles in his seat a bit, but doesn’t turn around, to his relief. “Stay safe,” he murmurs.

  


Sapnap nods his head, despite knowing George won’t even be able to see it, before slipping out the door to greet the chill of the night air.

  


Now, he just has to hope that Dream got his message. 

  


* * *

  


Sapnap parts the final shoot of bamboo, walking through them to arrive at his destination: the clearing in front of the original courthouse. If all goes well, the recipient of his letter will be here to meet him.

  


“So, this is how you want it to be, huh?” A voice rings out. He turns to face the taller man, who is also decked out in netherite gear.

  


“It is, Dream,” he confirms, eyes narrowing as he nods his head.

  


Dream unsheathes his netherite sword. “Let’s go, then.”

  


The younger darts forward, thrusting his sword only to be met with the clash of metal as Dream parries his strike.

  


“It makes sense that you would resort to this,” Dream taunts, darting backward. “You never were one for using words, always rushing head-first into fights.”

  


“As if you would’ve listened,” Sapnap snarls, ducking his head, hearing the slice of a sword cut through the air where it was mere moments ago.

  


They match one another, swing for swing, parry for parry. Their movements are graceful and skilled, yet filled with rage and bitterness. 

  


The two of them go on like this, tussling across the clearing, until Dream manages to connect his sword to Sapnap’s knee, sending the younger flying onto his back, hissing in pain as he clutches his injury, blood staining his fingertips.

  


Dream stands over him, pointing the tip of his blade to Sapnap’s throat. But before he can move, he hears the pop of a cork, glancing up just a little too late for him to be able to stop the raven-haired man from gulping down the deep red-liquid contents of a glass battle. 

  


In almost an instant, the dirty blonde’s legs are swept out from underneath him, allowing Sapnap to be the one standing over him instead. The noiret smirks, knowing that Dream won’t be able to get the upper hand due to the effects of strength.

  


He stands still for a few moments, chest heaving with exhaustion. His gaze meets the crudely drawn smiley face of the other man’s mask. Sapnap’s hands are shaking, and he desperately tries and fails to gather back his resolve.

  


“Go on, do it.” Dream tells him, voice clipped.

  


… But all Sapnap can think about is the person who used to be his best friend. The boy who would cheer him on when he playfully dueled another kid from their village, and if he won, he would cheerfully stand next to Sapnap, arm around his shoulder as if to say  _ “That’s  _ my  _ best friend!”  _

  


The same boy who would comfort him if he lost, assuring him that he had done great and they could practice more tomorrow. Sapnap followed that boy to the ends of the earth. He fought wars, did terrible things,  _ hurt _ people, for that boy.

  


And that boy is the same person who he is about to kill.

  


He closes his eyes, contemplating what he’s about to do before settling on a decision. Sapnap drops his sword, letting it hit the trampled grass behind him.

  


“Dream,” he starts softly. “Can’t we just put this behind us? The discs, L’Manberg, Mars… none of that really matters. At least, it didn’t matter before. Can’t you just let it go? I miss you. I miss who you used to be, before L’Manberg. I miss my  _ best friend _ . So, please come home with me, we can still fix all of this. Together.”

  


The younger reaches his hand out, offering it to Dream.

  


Dream doesn’t do anything for a few moments. His mask hides his true expression, however he seems to contemplate Sapnap’s words inside his head. Sapnap stays patient. 

  


He places his hand in Sapnap’s, who smiles that wide, sweet smile of his. Sapnap starts to tug Dream up off of the ground, ready to go home, to start anew, to fix things.

  


All of a sudden, he feels Dream tug his own hand downwards. His gasp is cut off, whittling into a squeak as pain blossoms across his chest. The noiret’s hands go loose, trembling wildly as he ever-so slowly brings them to rest on his torso.

  


Dream stares at him, watching as Sapnap’s wide eyes dart downward to stare at the sword stuck through his chest. He opens his mouth, as if to say something, but the only thing that comes out is a trickle of blood that drips down his chin, and onto Dream’s hands holding the hilt of the blade.

  


The dirty blonde pulls the sword out of his friend’s chest, watching as the younger steps back, before losing his balance and crumpling. He turns away, tossing the blood-covered sword behind him. He tries to ignore the sound of Sapnap’s shallow but desperate breaths.

  


Dream stares down at his hands, clenching them in an effort to stop them from shaking.  _ Why won’t they stop shaking? _

  


He turns to the nearest tree, punching it as hard as he can, gasping as pain shoots through his arm. He continues doing it, despite the pain, until he can’t hear Sapnap anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued!! Yay, right? ;]
> 
> (IM SORRY)  
> (but also dont worry)
> 
> i am following the 3 lives concept


	3. Could've Been Our Brand New Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the final chapter of Pulse Point! This chapter's title is from "Rät" by Penelope Scott. 
> 
> I changed the name of this fic from "Go On and Do Better Without Me," because I didn't like that title.
> 
> Small warning for a scene where a character does something a bit self-destructive that could be considered self-harm. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy :D

The next thing he knows, Sapnap is blinking his eyes open. He quickly recognizes where he is; his bedroom. His body feels numb and heavy, weighing him back down when he tries to sit up. The world blurs in and out of focus. Sapnap feels like he’s swaying.

The first thing he notices is that it’s _bright_. Letting his head roll towards the source of the light was a mistake, Sapnap realizes. He quickly turns his head away from the sunlight bursting through the thin curtains to instead face the ceiling. He watches as patterns dance across his vision, burned into his mind.

The second thing that Sapnap feels is an overwhelming sense of exhaustion. The heaviness of his eyelids finding conflict with the fact that he feels like he’s slept for about a month straight.

He opens his jaw to let out a wide yawn, only to find himself hacking up a lung midway. Sapnap can barely breathe between each cough, his throat burning in agony. It _hurts_ , but he sits it out, waiting for an opportunity to regain his breath.

Sapnap’s coughing fit eventually subsides after a few minutes, but just as soon as it’s gone, something else takes its place. A throbbing ache in his chest overwhelms his senses. All he can think about is the burning agony.

_Is this what death feels like?_

… 

_Oh._

Just as if he turned a key to open a lock, memories come rushing into his mind. _Oh, shit_. His thoughts are racing at a million miles per minute. The creeping feeling of exhaustion ends up completely erased by a sudden rush of adrenaline as he forces himself to sit up, ignoring the pain in his chest.

Sapnap quickly hooks his legs over the edge of the bed. His body still feels numb, and he considers how effective his legs will be if he attempts to stand up. Before he gets the chance to humiliate himself, however, the door to his room swings open.

“Sapnap!”

The next thing he knows, Sapnap is being tackled-hugged at full speed as arms adorned in multi-color fabric wrap around him.

“Omphf—Karl! That hurts,” he wheezes as the air is knocked from his chest.

“Oh! Oops, sorry, Sap. I forgot. But that doesn’t matter right now; you’re awake!” Karl cheers.

Sapnap smiles, happy to see Karl again, but there’s something more important on his mind. “Uhm, yeah, about that… How long was I out?”

“You were asleep for around three days,” Karl explains. “We were worried sick, man.”

“We?”

“Me, Quackity, George… y’know.”

At the mention of George’s name, Sapnap feels his stomach drop. _Shit_ , he thinks. _I lied to him. He must be so upset with me._

Sapnap groans, rubbing his eyes. “Ugh… I fucked up, didn’t I? George is gonna hate me.”

Karl moves his hand to rest on the younger’s shoulder. “I’m sure he doesn’t hate you, but you two should talk. Speaking of which, he should be coming home right about now!”

“ _Karl_. What am I supposed to say?” he laments pitifully. “ _‘I’m sorry for lying about going out to get fresh air and instead fighting Dream in the middle of the night and getting myself killed.’_ Yeah right.”

Karl pats his back empathetically. “Listen, I think you should—”

Before he can finish, he’s interrupted by the sound of the house’s front door creaking open. Sapnap feels his throat close up. He gulps.

“Sap, hey! Listen, you’re gonna be fine,” Karl assures him. “You two just need to talk some. I’m gonna go tell him you’re awake, sit tight.”

And with one final squeeze of his shoulder and a quiet _“good luck_ ,” Karl lets go of him and gets up to leave the room, softly closing the door behind him. Thus leaving Sapnap alone with his thoughts.

_What if George hates me?_ Sapnap frets, trying to push back the tears that start swelling up. _He probably hates me. I can’t lose George too, though. I can’t._

Hearing the sound of footsteps rapidly approaching his room, Sapnap tries (and promptly fails) to scrub the tears out of his eyes. The door swings open and shut yet again.

“Sapnap! Why are you sitting up?” George exclaims, sitting down next to the younger, pushing him to lay down again as he starts to rant. “ _Never_ do what you pulled again. I don’t know what you were thinking! You’re so—ugh! You _know_ I can’t lose you. Why—”

“‘m sorry, Georgie,” Sapnap whispers, unable to stop a tear from rolling down his cheek, wincing when it curls around his jaw. “I fucked up. I’m so stupid, aren’t I?”

“Hey…” George says, tone shifting from upset to something much softer. “Sapnap, look at me.”

Sapnap hates this feeling with every ounce of his being. The feeling of being fragile, of cracking at the seams. It makes him feel _helpless_. He hates it—he really, truly hates it. Despite this, he still raises his dark-gray eyes to meet George’s.

“Listen, what you did was _really stupid_ , Sapnap,” George starts. “But it wasn’t your fault. So don’t blame yourself. Dream, he...”

“I wanted to knock some sense into him,” the noiret whispers. “Or bring him back home, but I guess I couldn’t do that. I’m sorry for being dumb, George. And I’m sorry I didn’t bring him back.”

“I know,” the brunet whispers back, pulling the younger into a tight hug. “I know.”

And if they both end up crying into each other’s shoulder, that’s really no one else’s business, is it?

* * *

Sapnap spends the next three days confined to bedrest (despite his own protests). Slowly yet surely, the pain from his wound fades away, and he’s up and about again. The scar remains, hidden underneath his shirts. 

“George! Look, I got a card from Punz,” Sapnap cheers, opening it to read. 

“Let me read it,” George says. The younger finishes reading and hands it over to him.

_Hey Sapnap,_

_Sorry to hear about what happened to you. Get well soon, you hear? Maybe we can hang out sometime._

_I know I’m on Dream’s side, but that’s the way the turntables turn, y’know? He gave me a good offer. I don’t want to have to fight you or George, though. So try and stay out of trouble (I know you won’t, though)._

_Good luck._

_\- Punz_

“Well, that’s Punz for you,” George jokes light-heartedly.

“Yup,” Sapnap nods, popping the ‘p’ sound. He continues on talking about a bat named “Batthew,” or something. George isn’t really listening.

At this point, Sapnap had received a card of some sort from nearly everyone. Everyone _but_ Dream and Tommy.

_Tommy_ , George muses at the thought of the young boy. _I wonder how he’s doing._

_Probably not well_. 

George shakes his head, pushing away the slight feeling of guilt. 

_Guilt_. That’s funny. George has been feeling a lot of that, lately. 

Some form of emotion must show on his face, because soon enough, Sapnap is poking his shoulder. “George? Are you good? ...You can talk about it if you want.”

The shorter man sighs. “I just—I feel like I failed,” he confesses.

“Failed? Failed how?”

“So many ways, Sapnap. I should’ve realized Dream was using me as a pawn sooner,” George admits. “I should’ve… I don’t know. I should’ve kept you out of danger, I guess.”

“Hey,” Sapnap protests. “It’s not your fault that Dream is, well, an asshole. And what happened to me isn’t your fault, either. I lied to you.”

“I didn’t notice you leaving the house for ‘some fresh air’ in _full netherite_ , Sapnap,” George deadpans. 

“Because you were going through shit! It’s not your fault, George. Besides, I can handle myself.”

George stares at him, lifting an eyebrow.

“Well, I thought I could,” Sapnap whines. “You know I—”

“I know you’re strong, Sapnap,” George tells him. _Stronger than I am_ is left unsaid. “Still, though, it was stupid of me to not notice.”

“But—” Sapnap protests, only to be cut off as George speaks again.

“I think I need some time alone. Sorry.”

The other stays silent.

George can feel the noiret’s frown as he walks to his room. Before he can reach the door, he finds arms wrapped around him, holding him in place.

“Stop it, George,” Sapnap admonishes. “You can’t tell me it’s not my fault and then turn around and blame yourself, ya big hypocrite.”

George sighs, allowing himself to relax into the hug.

“I guess we have a lot to work on, huh?” 

* * *

Oceans away, in a very hidden, yet elaborate base, Dream stares at his face in the mirror. Having been alone, he had taken off his mask, revealing eyes that are red-rimmed and have bags under them. 

Lately, Dream’s head won’t shut up.

Do you regret losing them? _No. They would’ve been in my way._

Do you know what you’re doing? _Yes. I’m making a better world for my family. For everyone. And those who don’t go along with it have to face the consequences. Like Tommy._

Do you regret hurting Sapnap? _No. I can’t let myself be weak._

Dream repeats his answers in his head, over and over again. 

Maybe if he does it enough, they’ll become true.

_You could apologize to them still,_ a voice in his head tells him. _You could be together again._

_…_

Could he? Could Dream show up at their door, ask them to take him back into their life? 

_“Can’t we just put this behind us? The discs, L’Manberg, Mars… none of that really matters. At least, it didn’t matter before. Can’t you just let it go? I miss you. I miss who you used to be, before L’Manberg. I miss my best friend. So, please come home with me, we can still fix all of this. Together.”_

He already blew that chance, didn’t he?

Dream feels so _stupid_. Why does he miss them? They’re a weakness. It’s better off this way.

_When was the last time you told them you cared about them?_ the voice asks.

“Last week,” Dream rasps.

_Out of your own self-interest,_ the voice retorts. _Do you think that counts?_

“I’ve told them sincerely plenty of times!”

_When?_

“...”

_Exactly. You’re nothing but a monster. You used them and you won’t even admit it. Why don’t you just apologize?_

“... Because they hate me,” he asserts. “I ruined my chance with Sapnap. I… I hurt him didn’t I?”

_Did you? Did you hurt him? That’s hilarious, Dream. Absolutely hilarious. Do you not remember him gasping for air as you turned away and let him die?_

“ _Shut up_ ,” he growls, staring at his face in the mirror. “Shut up. I don’t want to talk about this.”

_You’re a monster. Heartless. Cold. Manipulative. Evil._

Dream hurtles his fist into the mirror, watching as it shatters into a million tiny shards. His chest is heaving, but he can’t figure out when it started. 

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

The blond looks down at his knuckles, watching as streams of red slip down through his fingers and onto the sink. His knuckles had just started to heal, too. _Fuck._

“No more dilly-dallying,” Dream drawls. He puts the mask back onto his face, hiding the near-crazed expression in his eyes.

He quickly bandages his knuckles, ignoring the reflective shards of the mirror that have been scattered across the floor. 

He has to pay a visit to Tommy, after all.

* * *

_Dream wakes up, gasping for breath as he sits up straight against the headboard of his bed. Normally waking up from a nightmare would be considered relieving, but as a ten-year old, being alone in the dark of night is probably the most terrifying scenario._

_The blond boy unconsciously lets out a whimper. It feels like the walls are closing in on him, and the door to his closet is wide open, leaving a chasm of darkness for_ monsters _and whatever else scares an eleven-year old to hide in._

_He’s shaking._

_“Dream…?” a sleepy voice calls out. The familiar voice is high-pitched and sort of squeaky. Despite the drowsiness of its owner, he can make out worry in their tone. “Why’re you ‘wake?”_

_  
_ _Dream realizes that he forgot his friend was staying over._

_“It’s nothing, Pandas,” he answers, trying to keep his voice steady. “Just a nightmare. You can go back to sleep.”_

_His attempt to draw Sapnap’s attention off of him fails as the younger boy sits up in the sleeping roll they had set up in the corner of the room._

_“But those are scary!” Sapnap protests._

_“Yeah, well, I’m not scared of nightmares,” Dream asserts, wincing when his voice trembles. “Nightmares are only scary for, like, eight-year olds.”_

_“Hey! That’s rude!” the eight-year old in question whisper-shouts. “I’m not afraid!”_

_“Says the one who still sleeps with stuffed animals,” the blonde teases, hoping that their pointless argument will distract Sapnap. “Also, didn’t you just say ‘those are scary’?”_

_He can just barely make out the dark-haired boy sticking his tongue out at him._

_There’s silence for a few minutes and just as Dream thinks his distraction was successful, he feels the bed dip as Sapnap wiggles onto it and lays down next to him._

_“What are you doing, Pandas?”_

_“You_ are _scared. I can tell!”_

_“Nuh-uh. ‘M not scared, I told you.”_

_“I don’t believe you,” Sapnap states, furrowing his brows. “Which is why ‘m gonna sleep right here!”_

_“Huh?” Dream questions, raising his eyebrow at him._

_“So I can protect you from the nightmares, silly!” the younger tells him enthusiastically._

_“Oh, I’m_ sure _they won’t stand a chance against the all-powerful Sapnap,” the blonde says sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Despite this, he finds himself fixing the younger with a fond smile._

_Instead of responding, Sapnap smiles back, wide and cheerful, displaying the gap in the spot where his front teeth were._

_...._

_“Sapnap?”_

_“Mhm?”_

_“Thank you.”_

_That night, Dream sleeps nightmare free._

_The two of them started a tradition—or really—a habit, afterward. If one had a nightmare, they’d sneak out of their window and go to the other’s house. Then, they’d sleep next to each other, to scare the nightmares away._

_It worked._

* * *

Dream wakes up, gasping for breath as he sits up straight in bed. The visions of blood, the echoes of screams, and whatever else scares a twenty-one year old linger, even as he regains consciousness.

He rolls over to his other side, reaching out for a hand to hold.

He’s met with nothing.

…

…

…

_Oh._ Dream realizes, chuckling dryly as tears well in his eyes. _I’m all alone, aren’t I?_

fin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. That brings us to the end of Pulse Point.
> 
> I know the ending is pretty open, but I didn't really want to do a closed ending. I don't really think I could've done it justice. So what happens is up to you, I suppose. Maybe I'll make a part 2 to this fic depending on where canon goes, but I highly doubt it. I have some other dream team fics I plan to do, though, so look forward to that!
> 
> On a final note, I just want to say that I’m 100% fine with people talking about this fic, making art or whatever else for it, and sharing the link around. However, please do so with respect to me and the cc’s in the story. Don’t force it on anyone. Cool? Cool. Just thought I'd put that out there, just in case.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! I know it wasn't the longest but I have a jackbox stream to catch.
> 
> I'm on twitter @bapnaps, you might know me from my frequent tweets about the Sapnap Rebellion arc! I actually started writing this before Tommy's stream today so let's just say that worked out well. Feel free to follow & chat with me :]!
> 
> title used to be: "Go On and Do Better Without Me"


End file.
